No More Identity Crises!

Today I want to talk about getting to know ourselves and growing to fully accept our own nature without judgment or criticism. 

I was talking to a woman at the age of 30, and she reminded me so much of how confusing life can get when you’re still so young. At that age a lot of things are still new, like maybe you’re just starting a family of your own, or your career is just beginning to take off, or maybe you just met the love of your life, or you’re just realizing you don’t want to go into the profession that you’re studied in college…

So much of who we are and what we want, and what we DON’T want is still being figured out, and also at that age people around you feel very entitled to tell you how you should or shouldn’t live your life. Well-intentioned people seek to impart their wisdom, or save you from heartache, or influence you to do things the way they want things done. People seem to think they have the right to tell younger people how to live their life. It can be very confusing because, in our 20’s and even early 30’s, we are still very impressionable, and often these people are the ones we want to impress like our parents, grandparents, or teachers.

When I met my husband, I was so enthusiastic about showing him all the little things that made me, me. I was singing in a choir. I was also conducting a choir. I was very engaged with my friends, and my music career, and my hobbies, and I wanted to show my future husband all of these pieces of me because I wanted to be seen and really known by him. He seemed supportive.

After we got married and I got pregnant, everything changed. My parents as well as his parents began telling me things like, “You’re a mother now. You can’t go to choir every day. You have kids to raise. You have a household to maintain.” And when my son was born, the criticism started from both families and my husband. “Why do you need to go sing for a choir when you have a baby to take care of?” “How could you possibly leave your children to go do these things you don’t really need to do? Someone else can conduct the choir. You can’t audition for shows! When would you have time to be a mother?” So I found myself bending and bending and bending to who they wanted me to be. 

I love my kids. They are the lights of my life, and they know it. Looking back at that time where I felt so unseen and displaced as I bent myself into a shape that fit other people’s expectations of a good mother, I realize that my kids would still know they are my everything, even if I hadn’t given up everything I enjoyed doing to raise them. It wasn’t necessary, but I didn’t know that I could choose my way instead. I wanted to please people, so they would show me the love I needed. 

Now I know that I might have even been a BETTER mom to my kids when they were really young if I had continued to participate in the things in life that bring me joy. I could have brought more joy back into our home because I would have had more joy to give. But I didn’t know what I didn’t know, and so I compromised my true nature and I bent to the will of others.

In today’s episode, I want to give you some very special insight into the importance of making time that is specifically for exploring your own nature. And we are going to talk more about why listening to the criticisms of others can often intensify the voice of our own inner critic. You can’t give the best of yourself if you don’t honor and nurture your true nature. Join me for today’s episode where we talk more about some specific ways you can begin to accept yourself honestly and wholly, and how accepting your true nature can help to attract relationships with people who see you and love you for all that you are. Click the video to learn more now! Namaste